breath ii

exhale
the thoughts rushing like flood breaking waters on poorly built dams
overflowing mind with words with no meaning except the ones I give
what do you think I should do with the rest of my life today
I have to be productive with every waking moment
sitting still doing nothing with my hands
as my back aches from lifting more weight that this body was designed for
inhale
oxygen running out of the body screaming, fuck you!
you must breathe
I can’t believe you held it in that long
what do you take me for?
some kind of machine to do your bidding?
feed me you ungrateful degenerate unkind mother fucker!
tired of running begging for sleep
deep enough to keep thoughts at bay for one more day to say
I rested like the lord on the seventh moon that arose to greet the sun
in full bloom of the rose in gloom as it senses the smell of doom
cut short to please a being who loves the emotional swell of desire
who does not love to be desired?
who does not want to be loved
I am tired of people liking me I scream and shout publicly
lying to myself in the mirror
you are the best looking woman I have ever seen
since the day I turned sixteen filled with hormones rushing
through the mind and flooding the body
break dams as waters flood the plains
where once innocence grew like leaves unseen
untouched by the glowing sun
the warmth of the touch caressing bosoms
shielded from the eyes by layers of protection
too complicated to be deciphered by the lay man
who thinks too many thoughts to slow down time
from saving his own soul
for an eternal struggle between the heart and mind
emotional logic ruling all thoughts
solving all puzzles formed by many years of pressure
turning dark molten ash into something solid
desired by all eyes who see their distorted reflections
in uploaded memories scattered across clouds
that rain envious desires on desert sands
where once flourished
expanding thoughts of possibilities
seeing everything that could ever be before it happens to me
on the backs of the giants who paved the way for me to be supreme
exhale
as the thoughts rush in

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