breath final

exhale,
as thoughts rush in flood breaking waters on poorly built dams
words overflowing mind meaning nothing except the ones given
what to do with the rest of life today
desiring to be productive with every waking moment
sitting still doing nothing with hands tied behind backs
twiddling thumbs
backs ache from lifting more weight that the body was designed for
inhale,
oxygen running out of the body screaming, fuck you!
you must breathe
how long can you hold it in?
what do you take me for?
some kind of machine to do your bidding?
I stick my tongue out at you
feed me, you ungrateful degenerate unkind mother fucker!
tired of running, begging for sleep
deep enough to keep thoughts at bay for one more day to say
rested, like the lord on the seventh moon that arose to greet the sun
in full bloom of the rose in gloom sensing the smell of doom,
cut short to please the being who loves the emotional swell of desire
who does not love to be desired?
who does not want to be loved
tired of people liking me I scream and shout publicly
lying to myself in the mirror
you are the best looking woman I have ever seen
since the day I turned fifteen filled with hormones rushing
through the mind and flooding the body
break dams as waters flood plains
where once innocence grew like leaves unseen
untouched by the glowing sun
the warmth of touch caressing bosoms
shielded from eyes by layers of protection
too complicated to be deciphered by lay men
who think one thought too many to slow down time
from saving souls
for an eternal struggle between heart and mind
emotional logic ruling all thoughts
solving all puzzles formed by many years of pressure
turning dark molten ash into something solid
desired by all eyes who see their distorted reflections
smiling with weeping tears back at them
you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen
in uploaded memories scattered across clouds
that rain envious desires on desert sands
where once flourished
expanding thoughts of possibilities
seeing everything that could ever be before it happens
neglecting all the other three
focused on the one
the worst possibility
afraid to lose it all forgetting what once was
was never lost until found within
the land created by the king
on the backs of giants who paved the way
for the supreme being
exhale,
as thoughts rush in
flooding plains for days
unleashing the dragon within
all dams break weakened by poor constricting construction
holding back waters of thoughts
rushing and bursting forth in slow motion violence
beyond the comprehension of a mind begging for silence
exhale

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