pesty genius iv

I want what I cannot have which is nothing so I chase my tail round and round in circles never being able to catch up to what I already have for the grass is greener on the other side or tracks so I never get there pray tell what is on the wild side of life or mind always looking over my neighbors edge and admiring always over the edge and admiring always over the ledge I’m flying in circles wondering where it ends where does it all end where does it bend to my will or bow at the whims of my skill watch me kill infinitely infinity has no end for there is always something greater something better it never ends but where do we begin how do you start a story that has no end how do I reach a height that cannot be measured who will save me from this unattainable goal I keep chasing I keep chasing unhappy that I do not have that which I cannot want to confront reality comfort insanity believe in gravity yet you can fly spread your wings flap them hard take a dive in the deep end you will figure out how to fly soaring is your natural state soar in your natural state I’m sad saddened by passing days afraid afraid to never see the past again always looking back stuck in time looping through the past to the future thinking of changing it with what I know now if I knew this then I would do that instead where oh where I would be now what am I doing to my head as I lay in bed performing surgery on neurons too densely packed to be seen by the naked eye of the mind whose hands never fail to push me flat on my back staring at the stars in wonder pondering the outcome of all things I must be God infinite in wisdom no form alone stuck in eternity observing all possibilities unfold to a logical end no hope no prayer to save me from this end this unpassing trend this wind blows me from end to end over and over again till I find myself lost in thoughts of what could have been and what should be as I exhale inhaling everything watching reality change before my very eyes a million times the speed of light I fight with pride to write thoughts as words to change the outcome of a finished plot sinisterly unfolding with not a chance of doing anything but scream at the wall in disbelief as I fall back to the depths from which I crawled out with blood stained fingernails all frail killing my opposition in disgust searching for light from the dark nights I rise to fly past the bright lights that start to shine the minute I climb down

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