Russian Roulette iv

I dare you, spend a day in my shoes then tell me you still love me
after you’ve paid my ever mounting debt
after you find out things I’ve been hiding from you like exactly how I feel
or stink, 
or how many times I’ve killed
innocent bystanders just for looking like me
sending them to an early grave
slaves to the earth beneath
food for the worms to eat
making sure I’m alone in my misery
truthfully would you stick around or scream
and yell in my eyes “you stink”
unable to hold it in
stomach churning with acid boiling bile vomit cries
contracting muscles clamp down
product of broken sewer system unleashed on public streets
spreading viral thoughts all who come across
unwilling to bend
my friend, would you love me then? unconditionally?
after finding out who I really am
how I really sound
despicable fiendish child of God banished from heaven for eternal sins
including the ones you commit?
will you cry to father for forgiveness?
would you end my suffering?
burned up rejected offering
laugh in my face saying I deserve exactly what I give
how would you feel,
to inflict pain
and LOVE it
every fiber of your being
joyous screams enthralling your everything
for eternity


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